you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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