I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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