You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
