I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
