i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
