You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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