That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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