would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
