spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
