can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
