I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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