Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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