i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
