I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
