I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
