question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
