Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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