Porn is love you can see.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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