We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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