The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
