True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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