I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Two words: blizzard sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize