I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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