I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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