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That's how twitter works, right?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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