Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
