k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
