HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
