chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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