Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
