He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
