she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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