Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize