The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
