I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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