so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
