Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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