I hate your face
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
