i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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