drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
