Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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