HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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