I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
