i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
