bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You ruined the universe
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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