this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
