My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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