ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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