Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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