I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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