I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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