I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
third nipple confirmed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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