We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
