i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
