then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
