If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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